


Hunting Shenanigans

by Rowboat03



Category: A Whole New Multiverse, Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Original Character(s), hs2awnm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:53:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowboat03/pseuds/Rowboat03
Summary: After an unfortunate incident with a katana, Jake English takes his son Jacob on a hunting trip in the woods, and a veritable plethora of shenanigans ensue.This short story is for Alex, @jaek_ingles on Instagram, and some of their characters from the MSPFA creation, A Whole New Multiverse. Please go visit their page and see what they're working on, I promise you won't regret it!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Hunting Shenanigans

Dappled sunlight lit the lush greenery of the forest, accompanied by the lull of salamanders and cicadas. All was well in the wood, and nothing could disturb the seemingly eternal tranquility.The world was finally at peace, or so it seemed to be. Mere moments after settling into the newfound calm, the forest was entered by one strapping, not-so-young adventurer, Tulip Reality’s very own Jake English, carrying his young son Jacob on his shoulders. Armed with a pair of pistols and a thirst for exploration, the two fellows traversed deeper into the woods, ready to bond and forget the Katana Incident of hours previous. 

“Popsie, where are we going?”

“On an adventure, my lad, to hunt and fish and have all sorts of good Father-son bonding! I used to go on adventures all the time when I was younger, and I want you to show you all the intrepid shenanigans your dear old Popsie partook in!”

Jacob sat for a moment, kicking his legs and watching the leaves dance in the canopy. After thinking on Jake’s words for a long while, he bent over to lay on his dad’s head, letting his arms dangle in Jake’s face. “Why couldn’t Papa come? He likes adventures too!” 

Jake sighed, and walked forward even with the distraction of his son’s arms in his face and said “That no-good cockalorum will be just fine sitting at home after what he pulled, I’ve never seen someone act like such a reckless hooligan in my life!” He gently lifted Jacob down, and sat him on a large mossy rock. He fondly gazed at his son, a small boy with wide green eyes and nary a fear in the world, and reminisced over his own youth. Jake grew up alone, having to teach himself everything, never having another to love or rely on, yet here he was, a nigh-indestructible semi-god, trying to raise a son with no other experience than the faint memories of a grandmother and the ancient longing for someone to be loved by. 

After what was likely several minutes, Jake snapped out of his trip down memory lane. Jacob was happily staring at a bird, unaware that his father had been having a slight crisis. “Well chap,” Jake loudly announced, startling away the bird, “even if your Papa isn’t here, we can still have loads of fun! I can even teach you how to hunt, and we can have the most dashing of exploits ever seen on this planet.”

Jacob nodded eagerly, excited to start his adventure and learn how to be like his good ol’ Popsie. Jake started walking ahead, nearly jogging out of excitement, and Jacob did his best to follow, running as fast as his little legs could carry him. After tripping twice and still not being able to keep up with his dad, Jacob called out “Popsie! Wait for me.”

Jake, of course, immediately stopped and came back, offering his hand to the young lad. After helping Jacob up, he lifted Jacob up to rest on his shoulders again, and began to galumph through the woods, albeit at a slower pace. Minutes passed by, and Jake eventually found the meadow he was searching for, and set Jacob down behind a large mossy log. Jake asked, “Now Jacob, this is what I used to do back on my island, I’d adventure out into the forest and go hunting! It takes a blasted amount of waiting, but the waiting is the hardest part. Do you think you can wait quietly for some prey to come out?” He did his best to make lying in wait for an animal seem like the most entertaining thing to do, knowing that boredom and a child, particularly one of Strider and English blood, would not bode well.

“If you can do it, I can too! I’m the best adventurer ever, waiting is easy!”

~~Some hours later, not many, but more than a few~~

As the sun passed from east to west, the forest soon began to regain its usual sounds of tranquility. The near-hypnotic song of birds and crickets, interspersed with salamanders, cicadas, and even the wind dancing through the trees, lulled Jacob to sleep, but Jake kept out a careful eye for any animal that he could hunt. After he was quite ready to call it quits and go back to the house, a young turkey, his own namesake, cautiously stepped out of the woods. Not daring to breathe, Jake tapped on Jacob’s shoulder, trying to rouse his son without scaring off his intended target. Jacob blearily opened his eyes, and Jake pressed a finger to his lips, motioning for him to look over the log and see the young turkey. 

Jacob looked ecstatic, and whispered “Is that what we’re hunting? Are we going to catch it?” 

Jake smiled, and took one of his pistols off safety as quietly as he could. “Not quite, my daring adventurer, part of the hunt is claiming the prize with a painless shot to the head!” He turned away from Jacob, and cautiously put his sights on the unsuspecting turkey. He placed his thumb on the bolt handle, cocked the pistol, and readied his finger on the trigger. After releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding in, he steadied his grip and began to pull the trigger.

It was at this moment that Jacob realized exactly what was about to occur, and he jumped up, flailing his arms and doing his best to scare the young turkey away. He shouted “Mr. Turkey, run away so Popsie doesn’t get you! You’re going to be shot!” The jake, of course, was thoroughly frightened by the screaming child who so rudely interrupted its peaceful foraging session. It ran away into the shadows of the woods, leaving behind nothing but a few impressions of footprints and cracked nut shells. 

Jake, who was caught off guard by the shouting, fired the pistol, but ended up hitting the ground instead of the turkey. The shot echoed through the forest, scattering a few birds who were roosting in the treetops. He turned to Jacob and said “Confound it all Jacob, I almost had that fellow. What kind of cockamaime are you trying to pull over on me?” He crossed his arms, miffed that he had missed the shot and subsequently his prize, and looked down at Jacob with a bewildered expression. 

The air was filled with a tense silence, even the woodland creatures themselves seemed to be waiting for a response, but instead of words, the silence was broken by an ashamed sniffle. Jacob, as any young child is prone to do, had broken into tears and was trying his best not to cry too loudly. As he spoke, he began to hiccup, making his sniffle-ridden words all the harder to understand. “I didn’t want the nice turkey to die Popsie. You always tell me to be nice to other people and animals, and you were going to be mean to the turkey!”

Jake pulled his son into a big hug, patting his back to help get rid of the hiccups. He tried his very best to be soothing, and said “Oh, confound it all Jacob, you’re right. I’ve made a right fool of myself, doing what I teach you not to do. Can you forgive me, chap?” 

After a moment, Jacob looked up, his hiccups abated, and stared right into Jake’s eyes. With the sincerity of a Catholic priest during a confession, he put his hand on Jake’s cheek and declared, “I’ll forgive you, but only if you give me an airplane ride.” His demands stated, he promptly clambered up on the long and sat, looking at his dad to see if he would be indulged. 

Ever the gentleman, Jake stored his pistol and hauled Jacob up, spinning him through the air while making incredibly embarrassing airplane noises. This revelry continued for several minutes, until Jake’s arms tired and he had to set Jacob down. 

“Again Popsie, again!”

“Jacob my boy, your old Popsie can’t be giving airplanes out willy-nilly, they’re a valuable commodity and must be rationed out accordingly.” Jake flopped down onto the grass, thoroughly exhausted and ready to catch his breath, but was unable to get more than a moment of peace before Jacob came hurtling onto his stomach. Jacob jumped up and down a couple of times before growing bored, and tried his best to pull his dad up from the ground. 

“Now see here, young sir,” Jake grabbed Jacob, pulling him down and tickling his sides. “Don’t go starting fights you can’t win!” As Jacob giggled, Jake continued tickling, eventually pushing the hem of Jacob’s shirt aside to give him a loud raspberry. The onslaught of tickles, interspersed with raspberries, was eventually brought to a halt when Jacob cried out “Stop!” 

The woods, back to their regular levels of peaceful ambience, provided a gentle background as Jacob caught his breath and Jake stood back up. After allowing his son a moment to recover from the tickles, Jake extended his hand to help Jacob back up, and it was readily accepted. 

“So my young whippersnapper, since we aren’t going to be hunting, do you want to go find a stream to play in? I can teach you how to catch a fish or build a stone bridge, if you want!”

“That sounds like fun! I’m going to catch the biggest fish you’ve ever seen in the stream too!” And with that, the pair walked off in search of a stream, Jacob’s smaller hand still clinging to his father’s larger one; however, it wasn’t long before the soft forest floor gave way to smooth pebbles and a babbling flow of water. Jake stooped down to take off his adventuring boots and socks, and did the same for Jacob, even going far enough to roll up Jacob’s pants so they wouldn’t get too wet. 

Jake waded into the water, and turned around to watch as Jacob made his way into the stream as well. He smiled, overcome with love for his darling son, who was always so willing to try new things and spend time with his dads. Shaking his head, he donned a smirk, and said “Hey there Jacob, watch this!”. He jumped as high as he could before splashing back down into the stream, making a spray of water large enough to reach both Jacob, several feet away, and his own incredibly short shorts. 

Following suit, Jacob began jumping up and down, splashing water everywhere and having a grand old time. When he finally stopped, his grin was wide enough to nearly split his face in two, and his eyes were shining with the joy only a young child can truly possess. “Can we catch the fishies now Popsie? Please?” He dialed up his innate cuteness, looking as close to a begging puppy as a human child could possibly get, desperately wanting to catch his very own fish.

As prepared as ever, Jake pulled out a small net from his pockets, and moved over to a deeper part of the stream. Pulling the net between his hands, he positioned himself so that his shadow did not fall over the net, turning his back on Jacob. Turning his head over his shoulder, he said “Now, the key here is patience, eventually a fish will swim into the new, and you can catch it in its unawares!” 

He heard no response, and assumed that Jacob was content to simply watch. However, Jake heard splashing after a few moments, and abandoned his net to see if Jacob was in need of any help. To his surprise, Jacob was holding a rather large trout in his arms, gazing at his prize as if it was a puppy or kitten. 

“Look what I caught Popsie!” 

With that, the trout promptly began wriggling, slapping Jacob in the face and knocking him over before escaping back into the stream. Jacob began to tear up, not out of pain, but rather out of sorrow for losing his new friend so soon. Jake took pity and scooped Jacob out of the stream, not caring if his own shirt was soaked through. Jake began walking out of the stream and started the long trip home, patting Jacob dry as best as he could. 

“Oh Jacob, please don’t cry, we can find you a new fishie friend another day! But for now, I’m all adventured out, and I would love to go back home! Would you be so kind as to let me head home if I promise that we’ll do this again someday?”

After drying his tears and rubbing his head into Jake’s shoulder, Jacob quietly said “Yeah Popsie, let’s go home.” He soon fell asleep leaving Jake to walk back in silence, or at least as close to silence as the woods could be. After returning back to the house, Jake helped Jacob change into pajamas and tucked him into bed, giving him a gentle forehead kiss as he got ready to leave for bed himself. Jacob woke up just enough, and looking behind Jake at the doorway, he grinned. 

“Papa, I caught a fish this big!” He stretched his arms out, grossly exaggerating the size of the trout to nearly his whole wingspan, before yawning and snuggling down into the bed. After he closed his eyes, he whispered to Jake “I love you Popsie, goodnight.”

Jake teared up at the proclamation, giving Jacob another forehead kiss and leaving the bedroom. After closing the door quietly, he turned Dirk, giving him a stern look, but upon seeing Dirk bearing a small smile instead of his usually stoic expression, he melted. He hugged Dirk tightly, and said “You’re still in the doghouse for what you pulled this morning, but I’m too happy to make you sleep on the couch. Let’s go to bed, and make sure that Jacob has the best day possible tomorrow.”


End file.
